Probably most of us in this church have been affected by divorce and family breakup in some way. That’s why it’s very important that we read this Gospel passage in context. There’s a lot of history, politics and even theology behind it.
First of all, note the reading tells us that the Pharisees were trying to test Jesus. They were setting a trap for him. They knew very well what the Torah, the Jewish law said. They also knew that divorce was a controversial subject. Remember that John the Baptist, Jesus’s cousin, a man Jesus knew and loved, had been imprisoned and then executed because he had offended Herod, the ruler, and Herod’s wife Herodias. She had been divorced by Herod’s brother before marrying Herod. Right against the law of Moses, but criticising it as John the Baptist did cost him his head.
So that was one aspect of the trap - can we get Jesus to say something that will get him thrown into jail, even executed? Another aspect of the trap was that different rabbis had different interpretations of the law of Moses about divorce. Under this law, divorce was initiated by the man for ‘something objectionable’ on the part of the woman. Different rabbis defined this ‘something objectionable’ differently. Some saw it as sexual misconduct, some as spoiling dinner, some even as ‘he’s seen a better looking woman.’ Women could not initiate the divorce, no matter what the man’s behaviour, and then divorced women could not remarry without their former husband’s permission. The men of course could do what they liked. So those trying to trap Jesus are thinking ‘Jesus, you’re notorious for the fact that you treat the powerless ones- women, children, the poor- with dignity. How are you going to retain their support and uphold the law of Moses?’
They are talking law, Jesus responds with relationships. Going back to Genesis, where the creation myth has men and women side by side, in companionship, not in servitude. Men and women created to be one flesh.
In the Mediterranean world of that time, hierarchy and power was central. If you were a man of high status those of lower status like women, children, slaves and lower status men existed for your convenience. They were there to serve you, and that included sexual servitude. They were definitely not your companions. Jesus and his followers from the beginning had a different standard. We see it here - he calls married couples to be one flesh, and then he puts a powerless child before his followers as the model of what faith, what entrance to the kingdom of God means.
This standard of relationships Jesus gives us has always been a challenge. From the very beginning we see in Paul’s letters exceptional cases where he allows divorce, and then of course in Matthew’s gospel, which probably came after Mark’s, there’s an exception made where divorce is permitted in cases of ‘porneia’ - a Greek word whose meaning we are not quite sure about. So yes, from the beginning Jesus teaching on marriage and divorce was a challenge.
How to meet this challenge in the world today? I’ve done quite a bit of marriage and relationships counselling in my time as a deacon, particularly when I was an Air Force chaplain. One thing I learned is that an outsider can never really know what goes on inside a marriage. Indeed often those who are in the marriage don’t really know what’s happening. Therefore we are called to avoid judgment when a marriage breaks down. We are also called to support those we know and love who are married to give to each other, to truly be one flesh. Many of us would know of marriages where this did not happen. Possible because of immaturity, possibly because of emotional or psychological wounds in one or both of the partners. Sometimes tragically there is violence and abuse of love in a marriage, where one party is simply being used and abused by the other. We are then called to show God’s love to the wounded.
When I preach at a wedding I remind the congregation, the family and friends of the couple, that all of us have the responsibility, in our different ways, to help the couple build a strong marriage, a new family. May we all have that prayer for those married couples we love.
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